I have fallen for my dads best friend?

I have fallen for this guy. We have been completely honest with each other. He won't hang out with me because he doesn't want to be disloyal to my father. If it was just the two of us then everything would be fine. There is an 17 year age gap. He has recently told me that he will not come further into my life because he would feel that he was constantly doing something wrong. And that he felt inappropriate. I should be mad and resentful towards him at a time such as this. But I started falling in love with him, and he continues to talk to me. Making my feelings feel validated each day. Because he doesn't want us to stop talking. I know that it would cost the friendship between him and my dad. When he told me that he wasn't going to be able to see me, it was like my heart was put in a blender and left on ice crush. I know he feels the same about me, but why would he walk away if I made him happy. If I could put his mind at ease, and am only thing missing in his life. Why suppress the emotion. I just don't get it. I have never had somebody hurt me so bad and still continue to be nice to them, and still want them to come into my life, where we can be free with each other. Perhaps I am a fool. I talked to all of my friends and family, and nobody thought it was a big deal. I am 23 and have a right to my own privacy. And if we make each other happy, why can't we be together? Right now, we both have a perpetual heart ache because we are not in each others arms, and have lost each other. I cannot live like this, and I just want him to come into my life where I can cherish him.